magentagirl: (Max as Elton John)
The Missing Stair

Our back deck is missing a stair leading to the back yard. This missing step is only one of many things the house needs, but it's significant. It's only one stair, but its absence means we all have to jump from the deck to the yard. I'm not a leap of faith kind of person. I don't mind taking chances from time to time, but I like to have more assurance that everything is going to be okay.
The missing stair makes me uneasy. It gives me that feeling that you get when you're almost asleep and you half-dream that you're tripping over a curb, and then you wrench yourself awake, heart pounding. I don't feel quite comfortable in this house. I feel like it's waiting to see what kind of people we are. Maybe it doesn't want us here. I hope it does, as with a little bit of nurturing this house could be our forever home.
Right now the house tests us. It's been mistreated, and perhaps it feels like we're going to be just as bad as the previous inhabitants. So far we're being kind. We've replaced the vandalized HVAC unit and the damaged roof. We've completed some minor plumbing repairs. We're working on turning the house into a home, but currently we have a lot of unpacking to do. I'm encouraged that, despite my unease, sleeping alone in the house was okay. However, we have something of a wasp problem (and that reminds me of the Overlook Hotel), and the roaches just keep showing up.
The missing stair has come to symbolize my inability to venture out into the back yard of my mind. I don't seem to be able to create very much these days. I have the desire but lack the initiative. I don't know what's holding me up. I think perhaps I'm missing that step. I can jump into there but then it takes effort to get back, and I have to be able to get back right away these days. I can't lose myself in projects the way I used to because real-world responsibilities. How have I made it this far without figuring out how to balance these aspects of my life?
None of the other homes I've lived in have had missing stairs. Maybe I've been waiting my whole life to move into this one, so together we can repair the damage we've experienced at the hands of others.
I haven't told anyone how I feel about the stair. I don't really want people to know how it worries me. I don't think it's rational. It doesn't make sense that replacing a step would change everything. But I think it could.

Date: 2014-03-23 10:26 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] kecharasmoon.livejournal.com
The fear of going to the back yard coupled with the fear of the back yard of your own mind really speaks to me. Nicely done!

Date: 2014-03-23 10:37 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] magenta-girl.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2014-03-24 01:13 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] heartonsnow.livejournal.com
This is fab, but i need to know if it is true because I BELIEVE in that missing stair!!

Date: 2014-03-24 01:17 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] magenta-girl.livejournal.com
I do have a missing stair. There are other ways to the back yard but the more I thought about the stair the more I decided this is all true. And thank you!

Date: 2014-03-24 07:56 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] jexia
jexia: (Default)
Thank you for sharing this.

Date: 2014-03-25 10:35 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] magenta-girl.livejournal.com
Thanks for reading. :)

Date: 2014-03-25 04:24 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] veronica-rich.livejournal.com
Nice metaphor and good prompt fill.

Date: 2014-03-25 10:35 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] magenta-girl.livejournal.com
Thank you.

Date: 2014-03-25 10:19 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] x-disturbed-x.livejournal.com
ext_224364: (Default)
Thanks so much for sharing this. :)

Date: 2014-03-25 10:35 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] magenta-girl.livejournal.com
Thanks for reading it! :)

Date: 2014-03-25 01:27 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] roina-arwen.livejournal.com
A very literal take on the prompt. Good luck with fixing your stair - I'd be worried about falling myself, as I'm not much of a jumper.

Date: 2014-03-25 02:27 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] magenta-girl.livejournal.com
Thanks. Workers are coming next week!

Date: 2014-03-25 11:17 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] lawchicky.livejournal.com
Home repairs are SO annoying.

Date: 2014-03-25 11:22 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] magenta-girl.livejournal.com
They really are.

Date: 2014-03-26 12:46 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] eternal-ot.livejournal.com
Hope you settle down soon and the house turns friendly..:)

Date: 2014-03-26 03:43 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] magenta-girl.livejournal.com
Thanks! I hope so as well.

Date: 2014-03-27 01:58 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] basric.livejournal.com
I think if it bothered me that much it would be on the top of my to do list. Nicely written.

Date: 2014-03-27 02:06 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] magenta-girl.livejournal.com
Thank you! We are actually having people in next week to start work on the deck (and the missing step…so I guess I'll see if my theory holds water).

Date: 2014-03-27 06:45 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] halfshellvenus.livejournal.com
Really nice metaphors here for challenges and hesitations in life as well as in home repairs.

I don't feel quite comfortable in this house. I feel like it's waiting to see what kind of people we are.
I really liked this, for some reason, and for the way it fits into the overall theme!
Edited Date: 2014-03-27 06:45 pm (UTC)

Date: 2014-03-27 07:10 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] magenta-girl.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2014-03-27 08:56 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] cheshire23.livejournal.com
My house tests me, too. And sometimes I think I only just barely pass.

Date: 2014-03-27 11:45 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] magenta-girl.livejournal.com
It is a challenge, for sure.

Date: 2014-03-27 09:24 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] watching-ships.livejournal.com
really enjoyed this piece. makes me think about some things in my own life (in my case, it's a garage door). i hope you are able to get past that missing step, even if it's only metaphorically.

Date: 2014-03-27 11:44 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] magenta-girl.livejournal.com
Thank you!
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