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Well I am at the doctor's and Nick is very skinny. I hate this! He has totally fallen off his growth curve and is off the chart on weight. He will be starting food this month so I guess we can try to fatten him up that way but I am so frustrated. He doesn't look at all skinny or unhealthy.

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Well Max appears to be one of those kids who gets along much better with adults than with kids, although he did play with a little boy at school today. After school he was at my mom's and her friend came over and apparently she was completely charmed by Max.
Here is a picture of nick taking after his older brother (note hands over ears)


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Well I guess that roach was dying because Dave found it and said it was dying. So at least I am back to being able to pretend the nursery is safe. Then when I went back in there I was standing up and felt something dripping on my foot and got worried we had some leak in the ceiling but it was just my boob.
I am hoping to get to target today to get some nursing tanks because I can only find one of mine and two bras and that is not enough for my rate of doing laundry these days.

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Wtf is going on in the nursery? This morning around 7:30 I woke up to a roach crawling on my arm! I would have killed it but it was on the futon and then crawled down the wall. My saying I would have killed it is a huge deal because I am so afraid of these things it is really ridiculous. Even dead ones or photos of them freak me out. But this one was near Nick so I guess mama instincts trump roach phobia. But what good is a nursery I am afraid to go in because of roaches? And why are they coming in? I am pretty sure it is the cleanest room in the house. I'm so upset by this!!!

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Nick always wants me to hold him. I get so upset when he cries if I put him down, but I do have other things I need to do besides hold him, especially since max doesn't really want him in the same room. Then tonight I remembered that I could swaddle him (which I do at bedtime anyway) and he has been happy as a clam and so much calmer! Well, he's been asleep or dozy for most of the time but that's okay.
It was a bad day for things. I washed diapers and the washer fucked up and gave me some weird error message so I had to run the cycle again. Then I tried to put the crib together and first tried with the wrong hardware and then found out two of the screws are missing so that isn't done. Then I tried to fix the coffee grinder and nick made that well nigh impossible thanks to the aforementioned constant holding thing. I did manage to fix the grinder but I wouldn't have had to take it all apart if I'd realized the issue in the first place which was that no one has been cleaning the chute the grounds come out of so it was clogged with oily coffee grounds. I ran some rice through it and it's working nicely now. Although I did have some random piece fall out which seems to serve no purpose whatsoever and I couldn't put it back in.
I think I will go to bed early, after I have some chocolate ice cream and pretzels. Nick decided 4:30 would be a brilliant stay awake time last night. This was after waking at 1:45 (feeding at midnight), and at 4:30 he was up for over an hour and then we got up at 8 and I got not much of a nap.

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I am feeling bored and boring. I have finished reading all the Sujata Massey books that I own. I'm now reading Bringing Up Bebe which is pretty good so far but I want something else to read and I'm not sure what. I'd also like to be working on a writing project and something crafty as well but once again, not sure what.
I have a lot of cooking to do in the next couple of days but need a bit more sleep I think. I hope Nick is a little cooperative. Sometimes he is and sometimes he isn't. Right now he seems to be cluster feeding so maybe he's prepping for a long sleep stretch. We shall see...

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Ugh. I hate money. I wish I could get motivated and actually figure out how to earn some through one of the many artsy and crafty things I'm good at.
Nick seems to be doing well. I am not 100% thrilled with his awake times but it's still a lot easier to deal with when he is close at hand. He is definitely a cluster feeder.
Max doesn't want anything to do with nick at all. He is not hostile but he is so worried about him crying we can't all be in the same room.

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Baby Nick's levels dropped to 11.3 even after being off the bed since 5 yesterday. So no more bilibed! Last night was soooo much easier even though he woke up at 4:30 and didn't want to go back to sleep...until it was time for us to get up and go to the doctor's so I am exhausted. But not unhappy! I love the doctor who saw him today. He was great, and wasn't even concerned about Nick's further weight loss. He said if I was worried I could come in early next week for a weight check but otherwise they'd see me Friday. That will be the regular doctor who is also great.

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